I have another dirty little secret and its rather embarrassing. So, here it is - it’s just so not right. Ok, I’m telling you now….I haven’t walked in a year. GASP. Be still my pounding heart. There it is, my fall from grace, out in the universe for all to see. Yes, I haven’t walked in a year. I can’t believe it either, my friends! It has always been my hope that the Chick Chain Walking club website provides motivation, giving people confidence to change their lives one step at a time. So, to not have walked in a year felt like I was lying to everyone.
I haven’t walked in a year. I have every excuse in the world, two surgeries on a broken ankle, another fall last summer that caused a concussion, and a large blood clot that stubbornly just will not heal. But those are all things that can be recovered from, but the longer I “recuperated”, the longer I laid on the couch. The more I lazed, the more I beat myself up and then sat some more hating myself for it. I gained twenty pounds in one year. I felt like hell. But I still kept up the website, feeling like a fraud. I sat on the couch some more. Now what do I do, I thought to myself as I sat even longer. I can’t share this with anyone. It’s just too embarrassing. Maybe I should just give up the website. I was frozen with indecision. Thank goodness my chicas have been leaving me in the dust and walking every weekend and many in 5k’s so I’ve been able to share their pictures and their triumphs. I’ve also had unbelievably awesome guest bloggers to share their stories.
But it was an email from a reader in Los Angeles who wanted to know how to start her own sister walking club that finally got me motivated. I realized I have to come clean because that’s the only way I’ll be strong enough to get up off the couch and stay true to who I am and who I want to be.
I know I’m not the only one who battles a secret or the feelings from backsliding from a goal. I truly struggled with the irony of having a walking/exercise website while sitting on my bum for a year. Finally, after I had had enough of feeling sorry for myself I knew I had to share my struggles before I could move on. I am now slowly getting back to walking, making it a priority and feeling so much better about myself and my goals.
Many of us have struggled with a secret and it often paralyzes us from moving on. Secrets can hold us back from being the best of who we are. Friends have shared secrets of childhood abuse they’ve suffered, others shared secrets of being bullied in middle school or even being the bully. The memories of the secrets come with self-doubts which are heavy weights holding us down, not letting us move with forward with grace. We begin to hide from ourselves.
You don’t have to share your secrets to be free, but don’t let them stop you from rising from the couch. moving forward and towards who you were meant to be.
My Dirty Little Secret Wishes for You
I hope you recommit to your goals and move towards being the best you can be.
You realize we all have secrets - big secrets, little secrets, so don’t let them own who you are.
Don’t let secrets or negative thoughts about the secrets hold you back. Let them go and feel the relief and weightlessness of being.
BELIEVE! Believe in yourself and the remarkable person you are and who you can be.
Forgive yourself. Forgiveness wears many faces and sometimes forgiving yourself can heal the paralysis that’s holding you in one place.
Know that every day, every one of you inspires me to grow, learn and move.
And, finally, always double check your pants and shoes before leaving the bathroom!
With infinite love and gratitude,