How many of you have shopped with a man who hates shopping? It is a torturous, miserable experience and I do not want to repeat it anytime in the future. An experience with Match.com man really drove it home
Match.com man needed a suit. He is not a suit kind of man. He wore a uniform for years and never had to worry about what to wear to work everyday. He is a farmer wanna-be and very much a casual dress down man. He has traveled the world but in no way did it increase his need to dress in the latest styles. I tease him he missed the fashion train. He replies he wasn’t even at the station.
Match.com man retired from the Army requirement of push ups, sit ups and running for miles. With the civilian lifestyle changes, his body changed and none of the suits he owned fit quite right, especially when he informed me he had three suits hand made for him when he was stationed in Korea ten years ago when he was in prime shape. But for some reason, they were a little tight. He needed a new suit!
I took on this shopping mission with excitement - I was practically shaking with the goal to get him into a stylish suit, shirt and tie. I couldn’t wait. We hit the first store. Nothing there appealed to him; it was either too expensive, too tight, too big, too everything. Then the next store, nothing again! Then, yet another store, still nothing. Really, I thought to myself as we looked in Macy’s. You can’t find anything here you like. How about this beautiful navy suit jacket, I asked? I’m not paying 495.00 for a suit coat he replied. I put the jacket back on the rack with regret. I was getting tired, my ankle hurt, my leg was swelling and even though I love shopping for me, I found myself pouring sweat and praying as we went into each new store he would find something he liked. He literally cussed and cursed every step of the way. Not a pleasant shopping companion.
Driving to the last store option, we talked our frustrating shopping escapade. We talked about all the changes in our lives. How we are getting older, how our bodies are changing, how our lives changed with the divorces, how our lives changed again with loving someone new. We realized as surely as our life changed, we changed as well.
We are not the same people we were. We don’t have the same bodies we had twenty, ten or even five years ago. We are older, grayer, heavier around our middles and bums drifting below the equator. We have more wrinkles and deeper laugh lines. We acknowledged he can’t fit into the suits bought ten years ago and I can’t fit into the svelte Calvin Klein little black dress I love so much. Our attitudes towards life have changed as well. We both are more comfortable with who we are, how we look and the direction our lives were taking.
As we stepped into the last store, a young, beautiful woman waited on Match.com man and I saw the twinkle in his eye as she helped him finally, finally, finally find a suit he was comfortable in (at least I think it was because he found a suit and not the gorgeous chica waiting on him). As he tried on the suit with a shirt and tie and found he looked damn good, I knew he had come to accept his life changes.
When we walked out of the store both of us breathed a deep sigh of relief. He was relieved the torture was over and he finally could get a huge cold margarita. I was relieved I could get into a cool breeze and stop sweating. We looked at each other and gave ourselves a high-five. The mission was accomplished and we were secure in the knowledge that our older not in our prime shape selves were perfect just how we are.
My Life Changes - Especially When You're Shopping Wishes for You!
I wish you’re really really lucky and as your life changes and you change with it, the changes are all for the better.
You know that all who came before you are shimmering and walking beside you everyday, supporting your every step, whispering in your subconscious ear “you are loved”.
You realize that instead of battling all the changes tooth and nail, you let go and see what life brings you next. I guarantee it will be a gift of love.
Know that no matter how wonderful or how awful the changes are, you have an inner core of strength, courage and tenacity. Acknowledge it. Breath in it. Live in it.
You see how absolutely, undeniably, astonishingly beautiful you are. Take a “selfie” (a self picture) and put it on your smart phone. Look at it everyday and instead of saying, Eeewww, I have a double chin, you say to yourself, Damn I’m good looking!
You deeply understand to the inner essence of you there is a light, a brilliance eminating from you. So many people see it and are inspired and led by you.
Know that everyday I am amazed, grateful, and motivated by all of you.
With infinite love and gratitude