“B B Bad to the Bone” ~ George Thouroughgood
“It’s Good to be Bad” ~ Cruella DeVil
“When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.” ~ Mae West
I have my vision board. I believe in myself. I have found an amazingly wonderful man and have a very nice, fun and healthy relationship. I have my daily gratitude list. I have an incredible loving circle of family, friends, and co-workers. At last, I am in a perfect place at a perfect time and I love every minute of my life.
So, why oh why, do I feel like being Bad to the Bone some days? On the Bad to the Bone days, I feel like flipping off drivers who cut in front of me and yell bad things at them. I want to use the F-Bomb more than I normally do. I don’t want to make the daily call to my 82 year old mother who still makes me feel like I’m 16 years old and trying to sneak in after curfew. I want to go to a bar during the day, drink too much and then go get another tattoo (really - three is enough).
I want to go to the Nordstrom’s online site and buy those Manolo Blahnik Mary Jane Black Patent Leather Pumps for a mere $685.00. I have been eyeing those damn shoes for two years and they are truly the devil’s own temptation.
I want to eat as much as I want from the moment I get up in the morning until I go to bed and not have it count. I don't want to exercise just because I don't want to and not feel guilty about it.
I want to find people to blame, I want to list people at the bottom of my happy list and I generally don't want to take any responsibility for anything.
Wouldn’t you like to once, just once, get a free day in life and act out towards the world - to set aside the grown-up mantle and just be good at being bad and generally nasty? Other people do it and get away with it, why can’t you and I. Wouldn’t it be nice to call a jerk a jerk to their face? Or, just tell someone what you’re really thinking – yes dear, those tight jeans really do make you look fat and by the way you are not a very nice person either.
Truly, it’s like an evil and misbehaving second personality takes over. Luckily, I’m an adult most of the time and I don’t act on all the temptations I feel. Most of the actions would be hurtful to the people I treasure in my life and hurtful to me. But the enticement to be bad is so very strong.
So, where do these bitchy witchy feelings come from? Are they estrogen uprisings and upheavals? I don’t think so and plus I’m way past estrogen rebellions.
I always sense when I want to be my baddest to the bone, I am not being true to who I am. And when you’re feeling bad to the bone, who are you? It’s hard to confine and define those feelings as just feelings and know this is not who you really are.
I have noticed my “I wanna be bad” times happen when I’m feeling out of control and life is throwing challenges at me so fast there’s no time to recover before moving on the next challenge. I know I was extremely bad (oh so bad) when I was in the process of a divorce and couldn’t figure out how this could be happening to me. I couldn’t even stand being with myself. It was a stressful and understandable reaction. I was acting out rather than acting like the person I wanted to be.
But, what if there’s nothing really wrong in your life? There’s no dissonance or drama and yet there’s this underlying dissatisfaction with the way things are. A friend called it “getting into a funk”. She translated “funk” to mean doing the same things in the same way, work is the same, spouse is the same, children are the same, sex is the same, responses are the same to the same things, and nothing ever changes.
How do you move past the Bad to the Bone and I’m in a funk feelings? Well, you may decide to revel, roll and reel in the feelings and blame everyone around you for your sorrows.
Or, you may recognize, acknowledge and own how you’re feeling at this moment and realize feelings are just feelings and they will soon pass. Your life will soon be reset, rebalanced and realigned with who you are and who you want to be.
I recently saw a phrase that fits our Bad to the Bone feelings. It was tattooed on a nail technician’s wrists - “This Too Shall Pass”. Really it was and I’m not making this up – This Too was tattooed on one wrist and Shall Pass on the other wrist.
There is a myth about the phrase. The myth tells of a king who lived long ago and proclaimed to his kingdom that he would give half his riches to the person who gave him a phrase he can use in any circumstances at any time. A wise old serf stood in the long lines of both the poor and rich who wanted to tell the king their phrase to use. Finally, it was the serf’s turn and he whispered to the king “This too shall pass”. The king sat back in his throne and thought about the words, then smiled and told the wise man, yes this was the phrase that could be used at any time and in any place. Sadness, Happiness, Sorrow, Joy or Hate, they will all soon pass away. The wise old man was suddenly a rich wise old man.
So, if a King, a Wise Man and I can feel Bad to The Bone, so can you. Especially when we trust and believe the Bad to the Bone feelings shall pass us by as well.
My Bad to Bone wishes for you
Know that when all is good and when all is bad to the bone, this too shall pass!
You know that feelings are just feelings and will soon be gone like the fog burns off in the morning sun. The sun does come up again and it brings a day to celebrate the bad to the bone feelings have finally passed and you conquered the temptation to buy Manolo Blahnik shoes once again.
You accept that the good, the not so good and the bad will always come at different times in your life and they too shall pass.
You realize that even if you’re feeling Bad to the Bone, you know you are awesome and wonderful.
Even if you use the F-Bomb a lot, eat not one but two Butterfingers, complain about life, are late to work, spend too much money, you are still beautiful, worthwhile and valued.
You believe and trust in yourself. Never doubt the challenges in your life, they are there for a reason and those too shall soon pass you by after the lessons are learned.
Love it, own it and stand tall!
With infinite love and gratitude,