So, how does one start dating after divorce, especially when you’re somewhere in your 50’s? Either the men I met didn’t pass my test, or I didn’t pass their test. Was there something wrong with me? I’m fun, moderately attractive with a good job, family and friends. How come this wasn’t working for me? I mean, come on, I even have my own blog and website; I exercise like I’m suppose to; I couldn’t be that unattractive, could I? Was I telling myself stories or was I facing the truth?
So, I tried looking at things from a different perspective. Rather than feeling and thinking the divorce made me a failure as a person, woman and a wife which was fiction, could the process really have saved me from an unhappy relationship and gifted me the room to rediscover who I was, who I am and who I will be?
While thinking these not so deep thoughts, I came across an article on the Law of Attraction. There are a number of books, videos and websites out in the universe – The Secret (both a book and a video), LawofAttraction123.com – etc.
The premise is that we send out vibrations to the universe and the universe returns like vibrations. So if we are negative, we receive negative and when we are positive, we receive positive. According to LawofAttraction123.com - your thoughts create your decisions which determine your actions and ultimately create the results you obtain in your life. The Law of Attraction says that whatever we focus our attention and energy upon, we will attract more of the same, whether it is wanted or unwanted.
Another book, The Power of Infinite Love and Gratitude, outlines how positive thoughts, love and gratitude have incredible vibrations and power to actually change the molecular structure of water and since our bodies are made up mostly of water, the author proposes that by thinking thoughts of infinite love and gratitude you acutally have the power to change your mental, emotional and physical state for the positive.
In the law of attraction process, being grateful is an extremely important aspect of life and attracts more things to be grateful for. According to Dan Sullivan’s Principles of Gratitude, being grateful keeps you focused on the small miracles in your everyday life.
All this made sense to me, so, I thought what the heck, I’ll try it. I began a gratitude list, listing daily everything I’m grateful for – all the small miracles that made up my life for that day. This helped me stay focused on the positive and not listing or thinking about “10 ways I hate my body or my life”. One day, I even had my ex-husband at the top of my gratitude list when he picked up our Army active duty son for a holiday furlough and dropped him off at my house! How could I not be grateful for that?
And, now every time I hug a person, I have one hand on their back with the universal hand sign for I love you and I say the words “Infinite Love and Gratitude” in my mind. I have to tell you when I do that the person always tells me – Wow that was a great hug!
Once I was more grateful and positive, I then saw how my life is actually filled to the brim with wonderful things like my daughter and son, my sisters, the Chick Chain Walking Club and website, my “peeps”, exercise, family and friends, my job and team.
And what’s my conclusion of these not so deep thoughts?
I was trying to fill emptiness through fictional negative thoughts, food, shopping, dating, along with other actions and thoughts that weren’t good for me.
Truth – I needed to take the time and let my life heal on its own and in its own time through the power of being aware of infinite love, being grateful and attracting powerful and positive things into my life.
Truth - When I’m ready to actually meet someone and be open to whom they really are rather than just trying to prove something to myself, then an awesome man will appear in my life. How fun will that be?
My positive wishes for you floating out there in universe:
You begin a daily gratitude list and start to see all the wonderful and positive things in your life. You don’t have any emptiness in your life. You ask yourself “Am I Happy?” and the answer is loud YES. You find sales that are awesome. You tell someone close to you that you love them. You stick to a BUDGET (oooo, I hate that word) and feel powerful doing it. Yes, Tamara, you can do it! You see how many people in your life love, love, love you. You forgive one person who has hurt you and see forgiveness coming back to you. You lose 7 pounds in a week. You feel the infinite love and gratitude available to you. That the new year has started with a bang for you and you are still exercising, walking,
And finally, know how grateful I am to you for all your wonderful support and feedback. That’s the truth!
Infinite Love and Gratitude to you all,